Friday, February 11, 2011

Words from my heart.

bound to you.


"What does it mean to be bound to someone? This question has been on my mind for sometime now.  is it a piece of paper or certificate? is it a ring that signifies belonging to someone or ownership of another, is it a vow taken in front of witnesses? Somehow these things seem inadequate, they are not enough.  To be bound to someone goes much deeper than the skin, it seeps into the soul, the spirit, the very essence of who you are, a seal is placed upon the depth of my heart, an unquenchable fire placed upon the center of my being. To be bound is a pure unadulterated devotion to someone, they consume your every thought, you long to be at their side, your hearts become so intertwined they begin to beat as one, you desire to do anything and everything they ask of you not matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice required.  Perhaps this is why I find myself here in this place now, my heart has been captured...I can no longer ignore the pull on my soul, the intense burning of my heart, the passion that has been awakened inside cannot be contained, it is overflowing and over taking me.


I must give myself over to my one and only love. Only he can calm the storm that rages in my chest, only he can find peace amidst this battle, clashing swords that ravage my soul. I surrender it all to Him. He is my shelter, my fortress, my strong tower, my strength and satisfaction and non can take him away from me, no one can break the bonds that have permanently stitched us together. How can I ignore the calls of the deep? How can I forsake the one that would not forsake me? I cannot. I will not. My heart has been forever sealed by his everlasting love.  I am marked.  His very words set my heart ablaze, burning with bright white hot fire, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."  No longer will my heart be a slave to men, but I shall unshackle myself and be yoked to Him. I make myself a slave to this commandment so that my life should reflect the heart of my beloved. I do so not out of strict obedience, but out of love and out of a desire to see the Lover of my sound exalted and glorified in all the earth. I submit myself for I love the bridegroom of my heart. I love his heart which holds compassion and sorrow for the state of his people and nation - this resonates in my chest, it vibrates with such intensity, I cannot rest, I  cannot sleep until the will of the Father is carried out, this is my joy.


I can no longer uphold the lies of the enemy and of the world, I will toss them aside, leaving all behind for the sake of my beloved. I make myself a living sacrifice unto Him who holds all things within his grasp, He who with only a spoken word created all that is before me, and all that will come after what my human eyes will see.  How could I deny the glory of my creator? Even the trees and the heavens speak of his greatness in all the earth. There is no denying this truth.  Now my hands are tied, I cannot escape the truth that I have seen, I cannot forget the mercy that has been imprinted on my heart. To do so would mean true death, an eternity without Him. 


So this I will do: raise my hands to heaven, submit myself to the will of the Father, for his ways are wiser than my own. I will forsake the world as it has forsaken my first love, for while the world may hate me, the world hated Him first. I must obey my beloved, my savior, my Lord, my God above man and for this I will endure much. Through the world will slander my name and bring false testimony against me, I will endure it for his namesake. Though they take what they think is mine and bring shame to me, I will endure it for his namesake.  Thought they strip me of title, status and influence, I will endure it for his namesake.  Thought they beat me, torture and enslave my body, though they persecute me and bring me to the brink of death, I will endure it for His namesake.  In all hardships I will rejoice because in this I have been considered worth to suffer for His name. For as the Word of God says : "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."(Romans 8:35-39) 


Therefore even though many people will laugh and mock, doubt and rise against the Word of my God I will not shrink back or fade into nothing, they cannot silence the truth with their remarks, the voice of my beloved rings true among their shouts.  I will worship and follow Him relentlessly to the end of eternity and I will do it with reckless abandon, all that is in my heart replaced by all that he is, for the remarkable love he has shown me, a sinner, unworthy of his heart. And when nay sayers question my devotion, and seek to cause doubt, confusion and even guilt in my heart and mind I will close my eyes and hear his still small voice, I will feel his warm embrace and comfort, a peace that surpasses all understanding, this love that he has for me that no human mind can comprehend - it is there I find my rest and know my love is always at my side.  And when they say that the mission before me is impossible beyond all reason and they seek to derail me from the path You have chosen I will remember the words Paul spoke and make them an offering to my Lord, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus." Let this be my final prayer: "Here I am Lord, send me."


February 7, 2011

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